Been a Long Time Since Posting

Mom, in October after a trip to the beauty shop..

just a few weeks before she got sick.

Well I finally caved in and got my hair colored

the 2nd day of Nov. I like it. Got it cut a little

different also.I turned my cell phone off while I was in the shop and my

brother Jerry was trying to call and tell me my

Mom was not feeling well.

We thought she had a stomach virus.

After taking her to the ER we soon found out she

had a paralyzed colon and 2 other abdominal ruptures.

She could not be operated on. She pulled through but was

very ill for a week.

Mom was in the hospital from the 2nd of Nov till the

day before Thanksgiving and then the Dr transferred her

to the skilled care wing of a local nursing home.

This has been tough. She has been there for 11 days

now and I hate it that she is there

I hate it that I can't take care of her.

I hate it that there are people that look at

me and think I am just fine and should

be able to take my Mom home and take

care of her.

I am exhausted and worn out most of the time.

I try to go to the nursing home everyday.

I usually end up crashing a day every 5 or so.

Invisible illnesses are so hard to deal with..

after all I look ok...why shouldn't I be able to take

care of my almost 90 year old Mom.

CFS....Fibro...and fighting my way back

from major depression has really made this

a hard road to travel ...but I am still here and doing the best I can.

If the best I can don't suit some people that is just too

bad because you know what ???? The best I can doesn't really

make me a very happy camper either.

I think I hate nursing homes but am glad for the care

they can give her....they have got to be one of the

most depressing places to visit and spend time in.

I try to look for something bright and happy or funny

each time I go...it is not always easy to find..but I usually do.

I don't know yet what God has in store for Mom ..she is really

slipping physically and mentally and it just rips my heart out to

watch her slide down hill. I wish she could just try to eat.

She has not eaten anything solid in more than a month....except

a cookie I forced down her yesterday.

She lives on Ensure and other supplements.

It is just plain tough to see her this way.

Lord give me the strength.....to endure....please...AMEN

Another Birthday down....hope many more to come.

Here we are in our clashing shirts!!!

Well today is my birthday and I spent most of it on the

couch resting. So I thought I would post a picture

of Joe and I on a day I was doing good.

This was taken the last week of August when

we went out to eat for one of the grand kid's

birthday. It was a good day. I will have other good days ...today just has not been

one. I am fast to let fear creep in when a bad day hits

now and get stirred up that I am going to fall

back into that pit of depression when in fact

I just have had a lot of family stress and over did

last week.

So, a friend reminded me when I was whining on the

phone earlier today that I had hoped to be doing so

much better on my birthday than I was earlier in the summer..

she told me that with all the "stuff" life had thrown my way

lately ....a healthy person would have been crumbling...so in fact

I AM doing better.

My husband has to start treatments in about 6 weeks

and we have probably 48 weeks of some rough days.

Pray for us.

IT is my 53rd birthday and I have lost a few friends and family

members at younger ages....so any birthday above

ground is a great birthday!!! Got that from

my husband Joe. Bless him he is always looking

for the positive in everything.....and I am a glass half

full gal so he is good for me.

It Is Almost Done....3 1/2 inch 9 patch

I was so happy to have all these pieced together.I got this done a week ago and now all that is

left is the borders and it will be ready to

go to the quilters!!!

Thank you God....seriously ....thank you!

Back To Sewing Again

I am so thankful to be able to be back in my corner

doing some sewing again. I love making quilts.

This is where I create....and I like having the

window with the natural light right next to the

table with my machine. I missed this when

I was in that dark pit.The last time I spent much time in my corner

it was not green outside....actually we had just

gotten over the big Midwest blizzard.

Mom came the first weekend of March and

I didn't sew much after that.

I went to see her down on the farm

today and she seems to be going downhill

with her health. Nothing but old age and

not wanting to eat.

I am not physically able to take care of her

here anymore and that is just the way it

is. I pray she does not end up in a nursing

home.....believe me I pray hard about that.

Not a great view but my view.....bloom where your planted...right?? I have been planted in this home now for 34 years and it is home. Depression is so hard to explain to people and when they would tell me to just get my mind on something else and go sew a little ...oh, how at the time I wished I could. I just could not get my mind to work well enough to do it. I have been on this new antidepressant for almost 2 months now and am a lot better but have a ways to go. It is hard work when you deal with other health issues along with it....the pill is not a magic answer but it sure has helped. Just glad to be doing better. Now if they would just come up with a pill that would make the CFS and FM go away!!

Vacation

No, not me but my sons and their families started

their vacation yesterday.They are headed to Florida. Two vehicles, two sets of parents and 7 kids. These two cousins are the mischievous ones. I wish the " good health fairy" could wave a wand over me and I could be physically able to join my family on one of their trips. Don't think that's going to happen anytime too soon.... So I stay behind in my home and look forward to the daily pics I get on my cell phone which I am thankful for. No need for a pity party as I have opted out of that already today. I told myself to get over it and I am not going to my 35th high school reunion tonight 45 minutes south of here as I don't feel like saying....HI....I am Peggy and in the last years I have had 7 grand kids and CFS and Fibro have highjacked my life and that's all I have to tell you. I know, bad attitude....so best stay home and catch some pics of it on others facebook later in the week.

Rise (Slideshow with Lyrics)

This is a song that has been lifting me up a lot lately....Renee, after reading your post I decided to try and post this in hope that it would speak to you and lift you up..Rise my blogger friend Rise....Greater is he that is in you!!!

Finally, 270 three and one half inch 9 Patches......

I had wondered if the day would come

when I would see all these little suckers

all sewn.The design wall was untouched for toooooo long.

Glad I am able to focus on it some now. I love all these little nine patches. I had planned to have the quilt top done for my birthday in Sept. but am not sure...as my health got in the way. I am sure all you with CFS understand that. It gets in the way with a lot of things in our life....it gets in the way of our LIFE!! So we do our best and live each day one hour at a time one day at a time and give it all we have to have a life we can enjoy... I just know I can get this done. May not look like it does in the magazine....but then again it might. I can feel the cloud of depression lifting slowly and wish it would take this anxiety with it. I thank God for the progress I have been able to make in the last few weeks and hope the days continue to improve. There are good ones and then not so good ones...but much better than the first of June. I hope and pray the two new Drs I am working with will be able to get me back to where I was or maybe even a little better than. Is that too much to hope for?

Hotter Than a Firecracker Here

I thought I would take a look at my pictures of

the big blizzard of 2011 today. It was after supper

around the time this picture was taken..

..today after supper it is 104 degrees.Wouldn't take long to melt that snow off the chairs

today. It is so hot you can't even go out and enjoy sitting on the porch.

Don't know which I hate worse anymore....extreme cold or extreme hot.

Probably cold as you can just put on more clothes

and get warmer.....in the heat your more likely

to just have to deal with it no matter what.

Like when you go out to get in your car and it

is so hot you have to hold the doors open

and let the heat out before you quickly hop in

and start it and turn on the air conditioner!

Don't like this hot weather at all.

I started a new depression medicine on June 21st

and am sleeping better which is helping the CFS and

Fibro some. I feel the depression lifting very slowly...

it will take time they say. I think you can dr

a person faster that has a heart attack than

a person in an having major depression.

I am not even going to try to post about the

anxiety...it some better but not today.

Depression Is Just The Pits...it sucks sorry for the slang

I am just about overwhelmed with depression on top of the other medical issues I am daily dealing with. I just hate it. I have felt this way before in my life and it has not been easy to get through but I will. I must....there is too much to live for to give up. I need to get some better sleep and that would help. I am just venting here to myself and hoping someday soon down the road I will look back and read this and say .....Thank GOD I am out of that pit. I thought when I started the Synthroid that it would be an answer to some of this for me...anxiety and depression...but it wasn't or hasn't been yet. I also had to start taking blood pressure medicine and medicine to slow my heart rate down. I do not adjust to new meds very well and it has not gone easy. Why is it that some people can just swallow a pill and head on down the road of life and I on the other hand never have it that easy? Well Peggy ....dig in ....hang on....pray for guidance and remember God will never leave you or forsake you....God did not give me a spirit of fear but one of power love and a SOUND mind. Sound Mind...thank you GOD

I Have been Gone toooooo Long

I have totally had a CFS relapse and some other health problems to deal with and have neglected my blog for too long. I just thought I would come on here and say I am alive and kicking just not kicking too much!! Life has been rough lately. My Mom went back to her own home on Memorial Day as I am not able to look after her at this time. My older brother is spending nights with her and my other brother's wife looks in on her in the daytime. I feel terrible about not helping with her at this time but I have got to try to somewhat gain back my own health. Do not ever....I say ever .....let any medical professional take you straight off your anti depressant without tapering you down.....even if it is supposed to be for your heart health. I am digging my way out of a big dark hole that was created by this and hope to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Back in the late 90's when I was put on Nortriptyline they did not know it could interfere with cardiac health and by the time I knew ....wham.....I was there having rhythm and bp problems. So am now still sorting those out along with that thyroid problem and praying to find another antidepressant I can tolerate that will help with depression anxiety and pain and I don't tolerate changing meds well. People with CFS are really sensitive.....anyway that is my speel for now. Hope to start catching up with some of you all in the next few weeks....my husband has put a plug behind the couch and now I can plug in my laptop as my battery in it needs replaced.

The Napping Quilter is Still Here......

I am still here and check in on Blogs I follow

and Facebook when I have time.

The first weekend of March my 89 year old

Mother fell and was in the floor for

a couple hours before calling for help.

We took her to ER and was there most of

that Sunday afternoon. Thankfully nothing

was broken. She was really banged up and

bruised and sick with an urinary tract infection,

which we found out is not uncommon in elderly

patients that have fallen.

We brought her home with us so we could try

to get her back to doing better. It is

a slow process but she is better.

Our old family home place where she lives is a 45 minute

drive south of us so it is easier for me

to help her here our home.

I don't really know what the future holds

but I know I will do what I can, and do

with the help of my husband. I could

not care for her if it were not for him

helping me.

I am tired and worry I will fall into a full CFS

relapse but I try to not think of that too often.

I just try to rest when I can. Today

after lunch I just undressed and went

back to bed for the afternoon.

My sewing has come to a standstill and I

need to try to get back to that as it

is a stress reliever but sometimes I am

too tired to sit up and just hit the couch or

the bed.

I have had a renewed interest in the old

western shows Mom is watching.

I do really enjoy watching Bonanza with her

in the early afternoon. I think I remember

some of those old shows from childhood.

I am not a TV person so this is a new way of

resting while sharing time with her.

So this is what the Napping CFS Quilter is

up to instead of keeping up her blog!!!

Turning 10

My favorite middle grandson had a birthday

the 16th of February and he turned 10! It

really does not seem like we have had him that

long. I was thinking he was a baby and

will not remember the events of Sept 11 that year.

His packages all matched and we did not

even plan it that way!

This is my oldest grandson here with him. Let me tell you, these two are a pair and can stir up some trouble if given the opportunity! Here is the whole gang for the traditional birthday picture! For the last several years one of my two sons have taken in a foreign exchange student. I hope these kids don't forget us as they grow up and go their own ways. So far they have all been pretty good about keeping in touch with us by the internet.

Design Wall Monday

I actually finished this top in 2010.

I got the backing made for it

and after a good ironing it will be

ready for the quilter.

I love this little cat block I made for

the 3 1/2 inchers I am still plodding through. There are now 60 of the 4 x 8 flying geese. I also need to get my Dessert BOM and my Thangles- Buck a Block finished. The first Saturday of March new ones will be ready to pick up. I am really close now.....259 of the 9 Patches!!! I am so glad the sun is shining today. I believe I will get in the car and go up to the quilt shop and buy my white fabric to set these 9 patches on point.

Foto Finish .......Dots

Lots of dots here! This is my

youngest grand daughter's favorite shirt

of mine. Before she got "big" and went to

Pre School, we would watch her every

Wednesday morning while her Mom

was at work. Sometimes I would still be in bed when

she came and on those days she wanted

to pick what shirt I would wear.

Most every time she would reach up and tug

on the hem of this polka dot shirt.

I am kinda tired of the big baggy

red polka dot shirt but I do believe

I will be keeping it for a long time to come

as it holds a lot of fun memories of

M's mornings at Poppy's and Gramma's.

Design Wall Monday

I am gaining little by little! There are

now 52 flying geese and I need 38 more.I have made 232 of the 3 1/2 Nine Patches

and need 38 more. Don't have much to say today....it is a CFS day. I plan to try to get some resting done and then maybe I will have some energy to do some sewing .....and laundry.

Our Winter Visitors....Swans

The last several winters we have had swans move

to town. You will have to click to enlarge to get

a better look, one has a red tag on his neck.

We have a small lake on each the South, East and

West sides of town. They usually stay in the

Katy Allen Lake on the east side.

They are so graceful and peaceful to watch. We have been checking the lakes when we are out and about and we haven't seen them since the "Midwest Blizzard of 2011". They may have thought it was time to move on!

Medical Appointments....venting...

I absolutely hate going to Dr and Dentist appts. I have been having trouble with my thyroid and my blood pressure. When I try the meds I have reactions and I get so tired of the medical professionals questioning me to see if it is in my head??? I will tell you after all the years of being ill I know when I am having a panic or nervous reaction to something and I know when a medicine is causing me to have a reaction. After passing the age of 50 and still hearing this ......I am just about to the point when it starts to just get up and walk out. I am in a rut and seem to do better if I just stay on my regular meds and try not to add anything to the mix. I am just venting here..... Why can't the Dr's just listen and try to believe what you tell them?

Foto Finish....Love

I think the cat loves us....I know we love the cat.

If she feels she has been neglected for too many

hours on any given day....when you walk past she

will do this .....and mew!Isn't this just pathetic? You would think she is neglected.

Design Wall Monday

This quilt is the new block of the month

project for 2011 at Kountry Kin Quilt Shop.

I really liked this one so I went

ahead and signed up.

I know I do not really need another project, but

what's one block a month to get done? The coffee cup is February's block, I picked my baggie up and will finish it before the months up. Below I have January's block finished...it is called chocolate cake. The owner has done a great job picking out all the colors to go in this quilt. She had two chocolate cakes made and ready to serve Saturday when everyone went to pick up their next block and instructions. Now to the design wall........this week I spent my quilting energy on my Valentine 8x4 inch flying geese blocks. They are fun to make and go rather quickly compared to my little 9 patch rascals!

Nine patch count is up to...... 204 down and

66 to go. Yeah, I have made it over the

200 mark!!!!

I have 48 flying geese blocks done

and 42 to go for my

Valentines Day Quilt! HAPPY VALENTINE DAY!!!

Foto Finish .......Green

Just about the time Valentines day is over

I start counting the days till spring.

With spring and the threat of the last frost

already past, it is Boston Fern time!

So when thinking of a green theme picture

it was my fern on a bicycle I wanted to post.When the middle of April rolls around,

we will be hitting the local stores

in search of nice Boston Ferns. We'll put

one in the basket of the bike, then hang

one each, on the front porch and the

back patio.

Design Wall Monday

These Flying Geese blocks are 4 x 8 inches. I saw

this Valentine fabric at Wal Mart and it was pretty

good quality so I bought about 4 yards

and am going to do one of

Eleanor Burns' patterns of a Flying Geese Quilt.

Probably just a couch throw size ...nothing too big. See those middle blocks that are the little heart candies?

Remember when we would trade cards when we

were kids in school and get those? I liked to get them but

sure didn't like how they tasted....and still don't.

The count for the 9 patches this week is.....

195 down and 75 to go!!! I saw this little guy yesterday....you can barely see the red on his head. I spotted a large red headed wood pecker earlier in the day and by the time I went and got my camera he flew off....I probably scared him when I hopped up out of my chair. I need to keep the camera by the sewing machine.

Foto Finish......Wiggly

Yesterday morning when I looked out my sewing

corner window this is what I saw. The sneaky little fellow was doing a whole lot

of wiggling to try to get to the suet cake and

nibble.

It was like he was doing upside down chin ups!

It was so funny to watch him. He would let go

and swing back up on the branch and look at me

through the window. Next thing you know he

is letting go and wiggling down to grab

a hold of the food hanger.

He is just hanging in there for all it is worth with

those back legs and feet.

I will not be at all surprised to look out the

window sometime and see

the suet cake gone and I will have no

doubt of who took it!!!!!

Midwest Blizzard of 2011

Yep, that's what they're calling it.....there is even

a page set up on Facebook called that.The snow blew all the way up under the patio

roof and got on the wood.

For my CFS readers.....that is my bike.

My kids gave it to me for my 50th birthday.

Before CFS I really liked to ride a bike...

It doesn't see much action from me but

it is there if I feel I can make it around the

block or up the street.

The front porch got covered good.....didn't see

a mailman near it for 3 days!

By that time Joe had dug a path.

Gladys was glad Joe dug us a path for her

to use...she was not happy

with this mess. Still isn't...temps have been below

0 at night. She has a good little house and

warm bedding on the back patio. Here is the mum barrel!

The other barrel out by the edge of the drive

In a little over three months I will be

putting my Zinnia seeds in here for my

summer flowers.

I think the official count was 20 inches for

our town here in SW Missouri.

The drifts were higher than that by far. I have not seen weather like this since I was

a kids growing up in the county south of us.

This is the most snow my grown sons have ever

seen around here.

I believe they are calling for more

early next week.

Blue Jay in the Blizzard

I looked out the window by my sewing corner

and saw two big Blue Jays eating from

the suet cake hangers!

I was surprised the camera got the picture

as good as it did through the window glass!! The snow is halfway up the milk can and still coming down strong.

It has been a long time since I have seen this

much snow here in our corner of SW Missouri.