Friday, January 31, 2014

We Have Endured A Lot of Rain...In Life

I have been thinking it is about time I
 try to get back to my blog.
There are times I wish I had
been able to keep up with it in the
last year. Late 2012 and 2013 have
been rough. But honestly I say there
have been more days than not that
it was all I could do to get out of bed and
function....and some I didn't.
CFS and Fibro can kick butt under the
load of stress.
There have been happy times also
but it seems the hard times cut so deep
the happy times were dimmed.
My husband Joe started testing after years
of liver disease to get on the transplant list
in Aug 2012. His liver was destroyed by Hep C
before he even knew he had the disease. He
was diagnosed in May 2000. His was officially
listed  after the first of the year of 2013. 
We were struggling along doing all we could
at the hospital 100 miles north of us in Kansas
City to keep him going until he got the transplant.
Then if you have seen my blog you know we
 lost our 8 year old grand daughter in a tragic
car accident on March 9, 2013.

Joe had surgery to open up the portal vein in
his liver less than 48 hours after we lost Hannah.
The week of the funeral I believe he only was
out of bed long enough to get to her services.
I am looking at him at that funeral thinking, if
 we don't get that call soon I am afraid your
funeral is going to be next. 
I stumble on in a fog for months. The morning of
May 2nd 2013 we get the call to head to KU Med
Center not knowing until we get within an hour of
there if Joe is getting the liver transplant or if
it is going to another patient. Joe got it.
May 2, 2013 someone gave my husband the
Gift of Live ....their loved ones liver.
Kinda mixed emotions after loosing our grand
daughter less than 2 months earlier.
It was a rough deal and an ordeal to say the
least.  But, it saved his life. We were not able
to return to our hometown for a month as
we had to stay close to the hospital.
Thank God for some friends from the past
that took us in and treated us like we
were on a vacation.  I made many trips
back and forth that 100 or so miles but
Kansas City was home for a month.
There are some complications going on
with the Hep C attacking the new liver
and he will be needing treatments. That
will be a story for another day.

July of 2013 my oldest brother had a major
stroke after struggling with health issues
for several years. He just about died on us
in August of 2012 and had to go to a nursing
home for the rest of 2012. He got home late
that year.  He never really recovered from the
stroke in July but did get some better mentally
in late fall and could call and communicate.

I woke up to an early morning call on December
2nd that he had died in his sleep around 3am.
Didn't really expect that call then, had earlier a
few times but not then. The early morning after
my oldest sons 39th birthday December 1st.
I never knew when the mail came if in the cards
it was going to be a Christmas card or a Sympathy
card of which I am very thankful for. But it is
going to be something I will forever remember
when the Christmas cards come in the future. 
So I choose to believe that my brother Lester
is now with my grand daughter in Heaven.
She was there to welcome him home. It
gives me some peace to know he is with her.
I don't know if I have it figured out yet but am
beginning to learn that I MUST learn how to
dance in the rain as I have lived through
a lot of rain storms in the last 2 years.
I am trying to find that "new normal" but I
will never be the same after burying my grand
daughter.  Not a day passes that I do not
think about her or shed a tear or many
about her loss.
But life goes on ...we must go on.
So to the next steps in the life I live..
caring for my almost 92 year old Mom.
Her birthday is February 9th...92 years old.
Her mind is slipping but she makes it
in her little apt with some outside help and
Joe, I and my only brother on earth
keeping an eye on her.
Next week I will know more about the
treatments my husband needs to save his
new liver and ultimately his life.
Life goes on ...rain or sun...or for now in
SW Missouri light rain turning to ice.
I hope to be posting quilt blocks and
yard flowers soon. My summer therapy
in 2013 was my yard flowers and Boston
Ferns....I am so ready. Bring on the Spring.
Speaking of Spring...on May 2nd it snowed
the day Joe had his liver transplant. Hannah
loved the snow.  Joe missed it he was in surgery
for over 8 hours. I have never seen it snow
in our area or Kansas City in May!
Hope some of my old friend from when I
did my blogging are still out there.
Would like to hear from you all again.
When it rains in your life ....learn
to dance in it...even if the tears are
falling as fast as the rain.

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