Sunday, December 4, 2011

Been a Long Time Since Posting

Mom, in October after a trip to the beauty shop..
just a few weeks before she got sick.
Well I finally caved in and got my hair colored
the 2nd day of Nov. I like it. Got it cut a little
different also.I turned my cell phone off while I was in the shop and my
brother Jerry was trying to call and tell me my
Mom was not feeling well.
We thought she had a stomach virus.
After taking her to the ER we soon found out she
had a paralyzed colon and 2 other abdominal ruptures.
She could not be operated on. She pulled through but was
very ill for a week.
Mom was in the hospital from the 2nd of Nov till the
day before Thanksgiving and then the Dr transferred her
to the skilled care wing of a local nursing home.
This has been tough. She has been there for 11 days
now and I hate it that she is there
I hate it that I can't take care of her.
I hate it that there are people that look at
me and think I am just fine and should
be able to take my Mom home and take
care of her.
I am exhausted and worn out most of the time.
I try to go to the nursing home everyday.
I usually end up crashing a day every 5 or so.
Invisible illnesses are so hard to deal with..
after all I look ok...why shouldn't I be able to take
care of my almost 90 year old Mom.
CFS....Fibro...and fighting my way back
from major depression has really made this
a hard road to travel ...but I am still here and doing the best I can.
If the best I can don't suit some people that is just too
bad because you know what ???? The best I can doesn't really
make me a very happy camper either.
I think I hate nursing homes but am glad for the care
they can give her....they have got to be one of the
most depressing places to visit and spend time in.
I try to look for something bright and happy or funny
each time I is not always easy to find..but I usually do.
I don't know yet what God has in store for Mom ..she is really
slipping physically and mentally and it just rips my heart out to
watch her slide down hill. I wish she could just try to eat.
She has not eaten anything solid in more than a month....except
a cookie I forced down her yesterday.
She lives on Ensure and other supplements.
It is just plain tough to see her this way.
Lord give me the endure....please...AMEN

1 comment:

  1. Oh my.....keeping you and your mom in my prayers. I've found in my own life that I can't do it all and that is okay. Please hang in there and just remember if you ever need to talk we are here...